Mason Benjamin Holiday wistfully inhales the toxic fumes of his cigarette. He reflects upon how it seems that one of his only means of fulfillment is derived from something so self-destructive.
But, oh, it feels so good! As he feels the smoke fill his lungs, tensions ease; a feeling much like the very preliminary stages of coughing swell and ebb, chemicals circulate within his blood stream and generate a certain high much like forgetting about a problem or having it solved. And yet, climbing a staircase has never been the same.
He considers quitting and meets tired eyes.
They seem dulled, watery. Mason reflects on how this is indicative of a great deal of recent crying. Or a lack of sleep.
The man approaches.
He's wearing a thin hawaiian shirt with nothing under it. Gnarled, aged chest hairs curl over the second-from-the-top button, grey and unattractive. His skin looks weatherbeaten, but he's clean -- he's not homeless, or he hasn't been for long. His pants are old, but likewise clean. His shoes seem like they simply suffice to Mason. The man stops, looks at Mason, who immediately assumes he's going to ask for a cigarette.
He doesn't.
"S'cuse me, I really need help. Hear me out."
Mason appraises the man sardonically. This may be interesting, Mason thinks. Let me listen to what he has to say. "What is it?"
The man holds out a pamphlet of folded paper. "These are my medical records. Please hear me out."
Mason takes the "records", unfold them, and look them over. "These are your records?" He cocks an eyebrow.
"They're for my problems. I need surgery. I'm going broke. I'm terminal."
"Terminal."
"I'm terminal. I have a family. I need help."
"I don't understand what I have to do with this."
"I need to stay in a little halfway-house. I need to wash, to shave. I need somewhere to sleep while I figure out what I'm going to do. Somewhere to stay."
"Somewhere to stay."
"Yes."
"And...?"
"It costs $24 a week."
"Twenty-four dollars a week?" Mason wonders if he has "sucker" written across his shirt and "rich" written across his forehead. He looks down at himself. He's dressed plainly, his shoes are dirty, and he's young. What is this man thinking?!
"Sir?"
"Uh... right. Twenty-four dollars to stay at this place to wash up."
"Yes."
"These medical records don't say anything about you being terminal. There's something here about hip surgery. People don't die from hip surgery."
The man's eyes begin to water. Mason rolls his eyes and takes a drag from his cigarette.
"I'm terminal. I have grandchildren."
"Right." Mason stops himself from asking what that has to do with staying in a halfway-house -- would it matter? Why doesn't he stay at his children's house?
...But all he wants is $24. Odd number. How much does an eightball cost? More than $24. What about alcohol? He could get a decent bottle of wine for only $16. His breath doesn't stink. His teeth aren't rotten. He looks tired. He doesn't stink of liquor. How much is a hit of heroin? A good $30 the least, Mason recalls. $24 a week. This man isn't terminal. Mason hands the papers back.
"I'm real, I promise, I'm not homeless. Here's my I.D." The man takes out his wallet (he has a wallet?) and shows Mason his identification card. "I'm telling the truth."
Mason bears into the old man's eyes. He isn't dying. But he wants a place to sleep. There's nothing belligerent or shifty about him. Mason looks at his arms -- no tracks. His nose isn't running. He's looking dead into Mason's eyes, pleadingly. Mason sighs. He digs into his pocket, then his wallet, and takes out his last twenty. "Here. Get some sleep."
"Th-Thank--"
"Yeah. You're not gonna die, but go get some sleep. God bless."
"God... bless..." The man trails off, bewildered, and wanders off. Was it that unexpected a response?
Mason wonders if he should regret what he just did. He's never wanted for money, so does it really matter? In the great scheme, twenty dollars isn't anything. Money is relative, and Mason knew how he was eating that night and where he was sleeping. That was his spending money, and although he no longer knows how he is going to do whatever he may want to do that weekend, he can rest assured that he helped someone get something they may want when getting what they want wasn't a typicality. And for Mason, it was. Rather, monetarily -- but lonliness has never been far from Mason. Like a slight discoloration of the skin or a bad diet, it was apparent that something was awry about him, but it wasn't immediately, and sometimes ever realized. He walks, the shadows of his face accenuated with conflicting internal emotions, cigarette dangling from his right hand between middle and ring finger.
***
"Welcome back, Jimmy."
"Hey, Errolyn."
"Where-ya been? It's been a coupla days at least."
"About."
"Mm. How'd you get the money this time? Get a job?" Errolyn takes the money from Jimmy's wrinkled hands with their dirty nails.
"Some sucker gave it to me. Right outside on the sidewalk. Stopped him and fed him some shit about me being terminal and having a family or some shit."
"Didn't he ask you why you ain't stayin' with your family?"
"Naw, he jus' looked at me over and over like he was lookin' for something. I guess he ain't find it."
"Or he did."
"Or something. I guess he was just lookin' to see if I was on drugs."
"Or if you really needed a place to stay."
"I dunno, somethin' like that."
"So then why do you think he gave you the money?"
"Shi', I dunno. Because he stupid?"
"Yeah, maybe that's it."
"Yeah, maybe. What they servin' tonight?"
"Corn dogs, I think. I dunno."
"Mm. Yeah, we'll see."
"You'll see. I'm eating at home tonight, with my family. You should try that sometime."
"Oh shut up your old woman ass mouth. I ain't got no family."
Jimmy waits in line with a styrofoam plate in his hand and his stomach growling. It's about time he's to get something to eat. He watches the brownish-beige phallus move from tin rectangular hot plate to tong, from tong to pearly white plate. He subconsciously licks his lips and swallows. The least of what we consider food is but a delicacy to those who find food as rare as those who regularly eat find exotic foods.
Percy sees Jimmy and sits across from him. Cynical old men have always amused Percy, they always have some gumptious thing to say that would amuse anyone with a bit of a dry sense of homor.
"Jim."
"Perce."
Percy chuckles from deep within his belly, the upper-half of his body pumping up and down with each delighted wheeze. "How are you, ya old bastard?"
"Eating."
"You are, you are."
"Whadayawant, Percy?"
"You're funny. I want to hear you say something funny."
"I ain't funny. You jus' some old fool."
"A fool, maybe, but a happier fool. I'll live longer."
"Says you. You and that ol' fool who gave me that twenty earlier. You both probably think you gots something figured out that ain't nobody else figured out when you-all in the same situation everyone else is."
Percy laughs harder, giving a grotesque display of his partially disgested food. "And yet... and yet, he's why... he's why you're eating..."
"Yeah, so? And he ain't. Now."
Percy takes a quick, short breath, and stops dead. Silently, he changes color and his eyes widen as if his eyeballs were attempting to escape his head. They bulge, straining themselves out of his sockets.
"Percy -- PERCE! Ey, you choking, man?!"
Percy doesn't respond. The redness of his face deepens. The color in his lips drain.
"Oh, for Godsakes --" Jimmy gets up and walks around the table until his wiry, brooding structure hovers over Percy's straining body, which is leaning back and pressuring a moan from the back of his chair. People around them just then begin to hum in attention. Jimmy doesn't know the Heimlich Manuever. He doesn't know CPR. He stares at Percy. A wall begins to crumble much like in Jericho within Jimmy as he listens to the chokes and strains emitting from Percy. Jimmy squeezes his eyes shut and punches Percy in the stomach as hard as he can. Percy doubles over and vomits all over the table on which they were eating. The room is silenced.
A janitor magestically approaches.
***
"Amber, eat your food."
"I don't want to eat this stinking food in this stinking house."
"Dammit, Amber!"
"Leave her alone, Jon, she got her period today."
"Oh, so because she bleeds like the rest of you, she thinks she's a woman now, huh?!"
"Jon!"
"What, Deana?"
"Jon, be nice at the table."
"Oh, the man of the house get's lectured, and the little girl get to speak how she wants because she got more esstrogan!"
"UGH! I hate you people!"
"Dammit, Amber, one more word!"
"That's enough, Amber."
"What, now you're the final word?! If it weren't for me, we wouldn't even be eating this! Don't you forget, I see people who don't get food on a reg'lar basis, I'll be damned if someone wastes food in this house."
"Ugh. Yeah. As a janitor."
"Ya damned right, as a janitor. Where's your job?! With your grades, I'd like to see you be anything at all!"
"Jon! That's enough!"
"Shut up, Deana."
"Don't you tell me to shut up! You're not making this any better!"
"Oh Lord. Let me tell you something. I saw something real today. Some old asshole -- let me tell you, a reeeaaaaal dick."
"Jon! Your language!"
"Shut up, woman! This here is my table. I pay the bills here!" Jon clears his throat. "Anyway! I saw this man, jerk as clear as day, save another man's life. And that's real! And you're worried about bleeding some. Let me tell you! Humans a' been around for umpteen thousand years and e'ry last onna them lived with bleedin' some without having to disrespect their father!"
"Dad, what does some guy saving some other guy's life have to do with me?"
"The fact that even some jerk can do some good. Ain't nothing as bad as you make it and some things you don't like just may be nes'sary. I ain't like that ass-uh, I never liked that guy, but it was a blessin' he was 'round today. Now you think about that."
And she did.
***
Amber leans over her homemade lunch perilously. She's tired of not being able to buy her lunch like the rest of the children; what's worse is that her cramps are simply killing her. Jessica, a friend of hers, sits at her cafeteria table.
"Hey."
"Hey, girl, you alright?"
"I'm alright, my tummy hurts."
"Oh."
"You okay? You look sad."
"My daddy came by yesterday. Said he missed us."
"Really? Your daddy?"
"Yeah. We hadn't seen him in forever. Momma didn't want to let him in, but they talked outside forever and then she let him inside."
"Really? Was he nice to you?"
"Yeah. Said something happened to him yesterdsay and he really wanted to see us."
"Forreal? Well, my daddy said that some asshole saved some man's life yesterday."
"Really? You think that was my daddy?"
"I don't know. I was just saying it because not everything is as bad as they seem."
After school, Percy stood at the edge of the curb waiting for Jessica. As she approached, Percy's entire countenance brightened. Jessica felt uneasy. Why had he just now decided to appear in her life?
"Hi, Jessica."
"Hi, Daddy."
"I know you're wondering why I'm here. Well, something happened to Daddy. It made Daddy miss you, baby."
"It's okay, Daddy. Things aren't as bad as they seem."
***
Errolyn picks up her ringing phone. It's her neice.
"Oh, hi!"
"Hi, auntie!"
"How's my baby doin'?"
"Fine, auntie, fine. Just wanted to give you a call."
"Just wanted to give me a call? Why, it's been a good two weeks since you called me last!"
"Yeah, I know auntie, I've been busy with school."
"Yeah, yeah, busy. You know, us grown folk have things to do too."
"Yeah, I know, I know."
"So, how have you been?"
"Oh, I don't know, auntie. Men... ugh."
Errolyn laughs. "Men, huh? I see men every day, and let me tell ya, I want to say the same thing."
"Yeah."
"But men aren't all bad, honey. Listen; just the other day, some man, one of the rottenest old men I've ever met, he saved someone's life. And let me tellyou something else: he's a different man."
"Is that right," Nina says sardonically.
"It is. He's a lot nicer now. Says that God put the lives of people in the hands of fools."
"He called himself a fool? Doesn't sound like a man at all."
"Or maybe one that just matured a little. I like to see the good in people."
"Well, I dunno, auntie. See, I just met this guy, he's handsome and all, but he seems like such an asshole. Every time he comes around, though, he tried to speak to me. I want to tell him off."
"Aw, honey, don't cuss him out. You said 'seems'. Sounds to me like you don't really know. Well, give him a chance. If it were up to me, I wouldda never said that that this man would have saved anyone's life, but right as rain, he saves this man, and right after being mean to him! And he's never been the same since."
"Alright, auntie. Funny, I was gonna ask you a way to get him to leave me alone."
They laugh.
***
As Mason's lips touch Nina's, the combination of sensitive skin feels intense and hot. Their hearts, conjugal beats drumming similar passions, beat against one another in an embrace both sincere and encompassing. Nina had no idea; Mason swore she would never give him a chance.
~ P
***
"Welcome back, Jimmy."
"Hey, Errolyn."
"Where-ya been? It's been a coupla days at least."
"About."
"Mm. How'd you get the money this time? Get a job?" Errolyn takes the money from Jimmy's wrinkled hands with their dirty nails.
"Some sucker gave it to me. Right outside on the sidewalk. Stopped him and fed him some shit about me being terminal and having a family or some shit."
"Didn't he ask you why you ain't stayin' with your family?"
"Naw, he jus' looked at me over and over like he was lookin' for something. I guess he ain't find it."
"Or he did."
"Or something. I guess he was just lookin' to see if I was on drugs."
"Or if you really needed a place to stay."
"I dunno, somethin' like that."
"So then why do you think he gave you the money?"
"Shi', I dunno. Because he stupid?"
"Yeah, maybe that's it."
"Yeah, maybe. What they servin' tonight?"
"Corn dogs, I think. I dunno."
"Mm. Yeah, we'll see."
"You'll see. I'm eating at home tonight, with my family. You should try that sometime."
"Oh shut up your old woman ass mouth. I ain't got no family."
Jimmy waits in line with a styrofoam plate in his hand and his stomach growling. It's about time he's to get something to eat. He watches the brownish-beige phallus move from tin rectangular hot plate to tong, from tong to pearly white plate. He subconsciously licks his lips and swallows. The least of what we consider food is but a delicacy to those who find food as rare as those who regularly eat find exotic foods.
Percy sees Jimmy and sits across from him. Cynical old men have always amused Percy, they always have some gumptious thing to say that would amuse anyone with a bit of a dry sense of homor.
"Jim."
"Perce."
Percy chuckles from deep within his belly, the upper-half of his body pumping up and down with each delighted wheeze. "How are you, ya old bastard?"
"Eating."
"You are, you are."
"Whadayawant, Percy?"
"You're funny. I want to hear you say something funny."
"I ain't funny. You jus' some old fool."
"A fool, maybe, but a happier fool. I'll live longer."
"Says you. You and that ol' fool who gave me that twenty earlier. You both probably think you gots something figured out that ain't nobody else figured out when you-all in the same situation everyone else is."
Percy laughs harder, giving a grotesque display of his partially disgested food. "And yet... and yet, he's why... he's why you're eating..."
"Yeah, so? And he ain't. Now."
Percy takes a quick, short breath, and stops dead. Silently, he changes color and his eyes widen as if his eyeballs were attempting to escape his head. They bulge, straining themselves out of his sockets.
"Percy -- PERCE! Ey, you choking, man?!"
Percy doesn't respond. The redness of his face deepens. The color in his lips drain.
"Oh, for Godsakes --" Jimmy gets up and walks around the table until his wiry, brooding structure hovers over Percy's straining body, which is leaning back and pressuring a moan from the back of his chair. People around them just then begin to hum in attention. Jimmy doesn't know the Heimlich Manuever. He doesn't know CPR. He stares at Percy. A wall begins to crumble much like in Jericho within Jimmy as he listens to the chokes and strains emitting from Percy. Jimmy squeezes his eyes shut and punches Percy in the stomach as hard as he can. Percy doubles over and vomits all over the table on which they were eating. The room is silenced.
A janitor magestically approaches.
***
"Amber, eat your food."
"I don't want to eat this stinking food in this stinking house."
"Dammit, Amber!"
"Leave her alone, Jon, she got her period today."
"Oh, so because she bleeds like the rest of you, she thinks she's a woman now, huh?!"
"Jon!"
"What, Deana?"
"Jon, be nice at the table."
"Oh, the man of the house get's lectured, and the little girl get to speak how she wants because she got more esstrogan!"
"UGH! I hate you people!"
"Dammit, Amber, one more word!"
"That's enough, Amber."
"What, now you're the final word?! If it weren't for me, we wouldn't even be eating this! Don't you forget, I see people who don't get food on a reg'lar basis, I'll be damned if someone wastes food in this house."
"Ugh. Yeah. As a janitor."
"Ya damned right, as a janitor. Where's your job?! With your grades, I'd like to see you be anything at all!"
"Jon! That's enough!"
"Shut up, Deana."
"Don't you tell me to shut up! You're not making this any better!"
"Oh Lord. Let me tell you something. I saw something real today. Some old asshole -- let me tell you, a reeeaaaaal dick."
"Jon! Your language!"
"Shut up, woman! This here is my table. I pay the bills here!" Jon clears his throat. "Anyway! I saw this man, jerk as clear as day, save another man's life. And that's real! And you're worried about bleeding some. Let me tell you! Humans a' been around for umpteen thousand years and e'ry last onna them lived with bleedin' some without having to disrespect their father!"
"Dad, what does some guy saving some other guy's life have to do with me?"
"The fact that even some jerk can do some good. Ain't nothing as bad as you make it and some things you don't like just may be nes'sary. I ain't like that ass-uh, I never liked that guy, but it was a blessin' he was 'round today. Now you think about that."
And she did.
***
Amber leans over her homemade lunch perilously. She's tired of not being able to buy her lunch like the rest of the children; what's worse is that her cramps are simply killing her. Jessica, a friend of hers, sits at her cafeteria table.
"Hey."
"Hey, girl, you alright?"
"I'm alright, my tummy hurts."
"Oh."
"You okay? You look sad."
"My daddy came by yesterday. Said he missed us."
"Really? Your daddy?"
"Yeah. We hadn't seen him in forever. Momma didn't want to let him in, but they talked outside forever and then she let him inside."
"Really? Was he nice to you?"
"Yeah. Said something happened to him yesterdsay and he really wanted to see us."
"Forreal? Well, my daddy said that some asshole saved some man's life yesterday."
"Really? You think that was my daddy?"
"I don't know. I was just saying it because not everything is as bad as they seem."
After school, Percy stood at the edge of the curb waiting for Jessica. As she approached, Percy's entire countenance brightened. Jessica felt uneasy. Why had he just now decided to appear in her life?
"Hi, Jessica."
"Hi, Daddy."
"I know you're wondering why I'm here. Well, something happened to Daddy. It made Daddy miss you, baby."
"It's okay, Daddy. Things aren't as bad as they seem."
***
Errolyn picks up her ringing phone. It's her neice.
"Oh, hi!"
"Hi, auntie!"
"How's my baby doin'?"
"Fine, auntie, fine. Just wanted to give you a call."
"Just wanted to give me a call? Why, it's been a good two weeks since you called me last!"
"Yeah, I know auntie, I've been busy with school."
"Yeah, yeah, busy. You know, us grown folk have things to do too."
"Yeah, I know, I know."
"So, how have you been?"
"Oh, I don't know, auntie. Men... ugh."
Errolyn laughs. "Men, huh? I see men every day, and let me tell ya, I want to say the same thing."
"Yeah."
"But men aren't all bad, honey. Listen; just the other day, some man, one of the rottenest old men I've ever met, he saved someone's life. And let me tellyou something else: he's a different man."
"Is that right," Nina says sardonically.
"It is. He's a lot nicer now. Says that God put the lives of people in the hands of fools."
"He called himself a fool? Doesn't sound like a man at all."
"Or maybe one that just matured a little. I like to see the good in people."
"Well, I dunno, auntie. See, I just met this guy, he's handsome and all, but he seems like such an asshole. Every time he comes around, though, he tried to speak to me. I want to tell him off."
"Aw, honey, don't cuss him out. You said 'seems'. Sounds to me like you don't really know. Well, give him a chance. If it were up to me, I wouldda never said that that this man would have saved anyone's life, but right as rain, he saves this man, and right after being mean to him! And he's never been the same since."
"Alright, auntie. Funny, I was gonna ask you a way to get him to leave me alone."
They laugh.
***
As Mason's lips touch Nina's, the combination of sensitive skin feels intense and hot. Their hearts, conjugal beats drumming similar passions, beat against one another in an embrace both sincere and encompassing. Nina had no idea; Mason swore she would never give him a chance.
~ P
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